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Re: The Random Joke Thread!

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2019 12:54 pm
by n11pilot
LOL! I don't know how I missed this. :lol:

Re: The Random Joke Thread!

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2019 3:11 am
by Herb Roflcopter
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Re: The Random Joke Thread!

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 1:15 pm
by n11pilot
:lol: I mean ahem, no I mean :lol:

Also inspired use of the the original and only Dos Equis guy.

Re: The Random Joke Thread!

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:45 pm
by n11pilot
The story of Uncle Bob - Green Beret

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, “My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess”

“And what’s the moral of the story?” asked the teacher.

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!”

“Very good,” said the teacher. “Now, Lucy?”

“Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don’t count your chickens until they’re hatched.”

“That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands.”

“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “ What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?”

“Don’t f*ck with Uncle Bob when he’s been drinking.”

Re: The Random Joke Thread!

Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2019 2:02 pm
by Cousi
n11pilot wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:45 pm
“Don’t f*ck with Uncle Bob when he’s been drinking.”
Some morals are more important than others. :shock: :lol:

Re: The Random Joke Thread!

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 1:06 am
by Herb Roflcopter
My co-worker's whiny girlfriend sent him a somewhat incomprehensible text message, so I took it verbatim and created this bit of nonsense:
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Re: The Random Joke Thread!

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 7:34 pm
by Cousi
That's one whore who doesn't know how to spend her money ... :twisted:

Re: The Random Joke Thread!

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 7:43 pm
by Herb Roflcopter
Cousi wrote:
Fri Apr 05, 2019 7:34 pm
That's one whore who doesn't know how to spend her money ... :twisted:
LOL!

Re: The Random Joke Thread!

Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2019 11:16 am
by n11pilot
LOL! I didn't find this till just now and to be honest I really needed the laugh. Thanks Herb! :D

Re: The Random Joke Thread!

Posted: Sun Jun 02, 2019 1:18 am
by Herb Roflcopter
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